As the Barn Turns...

So we've moved barns. Again. Sigh.

In layman's terms, that would be taking my training and instructing practice, along with the horses in my care (the ones we own as well as the ones in training) to a different facility. That would also include the nine millions pounds of tack, horse gear, and accessories that I have accumulated over the course of way too many years.

This was not a planned move. The managers/lessors of our current barn had issues (kinda scary issues at that) with the owners of the property, so they found another place close by to re-locate to. So we moved on Sunday. And Monday. And today. At the end of it all, I don't really like this new place. The old one was ok--lots of open space and a decent arena to use for training rides and lessons. Good prices for boarding too. We only moved there last Thanksgiving, and had a lot of hope that everything would pan out as planned. It hasn't, and I've spent more and more time helping to manage the facility instead of running my training business. I also found out over the weekend that nothing I was promised at the new place is actually going to happen. Then, when we moved the horses to the new facility on Sunday in the 110 degree heat, nothing was ready for their arrival. No food, no water, no bedding--just empty stalls. The final straw for me was having to stay until after 10 pm Sunday night making sure all the horses, including ones that don't even belong to me, had food and water. It was when I was lugging the umpteenth water bucket across the property (with no help from the facilities manager who was standing around talking) that I hit the "I've had enough" wall.

Fortunately, my daughter ("E" for the purposes of this blog) is a facilities researcher lunatic. She had found an interesting place in the last week or so, and we checked it out yesterday. It's in a different suburban area, but it currently has all the amenities we want, and they're up and running NOW. It is a cooler climate, and they have (insert trumpets blaring here): a COVERED ARENA. With lights! For you non-horsey people, that's like the Holy Grail. It allows us to ride and train regardless of rain or glaring sun. The high there on Sunday was 76. Seventy f'ing six! Not (I repeat NOT) 110.

We're giving notice tomorrow. The good news is that we're really looking forward to the new place. The bad news is that we have to move everything again. But at least we're already packed.

A Quarter of a Century? Wow! That Blew by Fast

Twenty-five years ago this August I moved to Los Angeles from Chicago. A lot has happened in that time. A. LOT. Los Angeles was hosting the Olympics, and I was a carefree party kind of girl. Now... I'm not.

I partied, screwed around, dabbled in pharmaceuticals, and generally just frittered time away. Through a wild and crazy set of circumstances and experiences, I am now a single mom, with a 16 (almost 17)-year-old daughter. I drive a Trailblazer SUV. The only pharmaceuticals I come in contact with now are ibuprofen and red wine. I wouldn't change where I've been or what I've gone through (good or bad) as they got me to where I am and I like things the way they are now.

When I first moved to L.A., I only knew one person. He was a good (gay) friend from college, and he told me when I visited him after one particularly brutal Chicago winter, that if I wanted to move to L.A., I could stay with him until I got a job and found a place to live. That was fastest "yes" EVER. So I wrapped up my life in Chicago, packed my cats in the Honda, and moved out west. Best decision I ever made.

I'm a smart girl. Really. Not long after I moved to L.A., I took the test for Mensa, and was invited to join. I thought that joining the group and going to some of the activities would be a good way to expand my social circle and meet some intelligent people, usually my favorite kind. Oh boy--what an eye-opener. I've never met a more brilliant group of minds, but OMG! What they had in brainpower they lacked in social skills and the ability to dress themselves. After I went to an event where one of the guys wore a deerskin Daniel Boone outfit complete with coonskin cap (on purpose and it wasn't a costume party), I thought it was time to find some other people to hang out with.

These days my social activities revolve mostly around the horse world. My daughter shows, I teach lessons, and together we train horses for ourselves and our clients. It's not a big practice, since I still work a day job to pay bills (private school anyone?), but I've made a point of being relatively picky in choosing clients, so I have a great group of people that I see on a regular basis.

I used to live my life on the ragged edge of disaster, being the drama queen that I am. It was all insanity, all the time. Now I'm pushing it to stay up until 10 pm, and I have found that boring equals wonderful. I am consciously grateful for the health of my family and horses, a good-paying job, and decent place to live. My favorite kind of day is one in which the toughest decision of the day is "paper or plastic?".

It's been a long strange trip... but a good one.

How do I Do This Really and Not Sound Like a Complete Poser

I write well. Or at least I like to think so.

My writing has saved me money, as when I wrote a heartfelt letter to my daughter's private school administration and guilted them into not charging me the "New Family Fee" of a thousand dollars when she started first grade there. Then there was the time I wrote the bathroom notice about septic tanks and the disposal of feminine hygiene products for our barn. So maybe it wasn't "Moby Dick" but it did, along with other things, help to make horse-keeping more affordable.

I love words, and all the things you can do with them, and have had a facility for languages ever since I can remember. I am a "Picture Thinker", (that always sounds so Psychology 101 to me, but it's true nonetheless), so it always feels like I have a million different tools and colors available to paint the story I want to get across. I like to talk (just ask anyone within a ten-mile radius), and can really tell a joke well, but I often review conversations and think, "Oh man, I wish I would have said thus-and-such instead!" Writing affords you the ability to actually have a do-over. Write what you think and then go back and edit, sometimes ad nauseum. That's my favorite part: appearing organized and polished, even when I'm not always that way in person.

I don't read as much as I used to. Out of the habit, not a lot of time, and frankly, as I get older, my attention span is getting closer and closer to that of a gnat. I'm lucky to watch a whole episode of Throwdown without changing the channel during a commercial and getting caught up in another show. Since I really do want to keep my wordpower up, I do a lot of crossword puzzles (the difficult ones, and in ink)--they're the perfect diversion: you can do as much or as little as you want, and when you fall asleep with the pen in your hand, you don't have to worry what page you were on when you wake up.

So an optimistic question, since I don't have any readers yet (I think): how do you keep your wordpower up?

How It all Begins

This is Life at the Funny Farm.

CPA firm techie by day, and superhero horse trainer by night. Maybe not superhero, but definitely my true identity. This is just a test to see if I can actually keep up with this, bring you entertaining stories, and see who might be interested in what I have to say. I've read some great and funny blogs and I hope to write up to their standards. Stay tuned.